What I Am

"And Joseph dreamed a dream and he told it to his brethren and they hated him yet the more." 

                                                                                                                            Genisis 37:4

                                                               

                                                 
                                                    Many tell me
                                                    I can not be a king.
                                                    And it is not as if I want to be,
                                                    but how can I not be
                                                    what I Am
                                                    has called for me to be.

                                                   They tell me
                                                   the world is much too large
                                                   and I am but an ant.
                                                   But they forget
                                                   that to my God
                                                   the world is a grain of sand.

                                                  The ox and eagle, lion and man
                                                  come together in my hands
                                                  and I soar above the thoughts of man
                                                  and courage roars in me.
                                                  The dream is a yoke placed on the ox
                                                  who plows the world to bear His crops.
                                                  And I the man lift up my hands
                                                  to God who made it be.

                                                  Courage! Courage!,
                                                  Brave and free,
                                                  to be what I was be,
                                                  to accomplish all I hope and dream
                                                  through God
                                                  Who made it
                                                  be.

                                                                                               by Sherry Fauscett
                                                                                                                              1986

His Banner Over Us - Ps. 60 :4

Thou hast given a banner to them that fear thee, that it may be displayed because of truth. Selah.

When I read this verse I am reminded of Moses when he lifted up the rod of God on Rephidim as the Israelites were battling Amalek. When the Israelites saw the Rod of God lifted up in Moses' hands, they began to triumph in the battle. When Moses tires and lowers the Rod, the enemy began to overcome the Israelites.  The word banner in verse 4 above actually means - something lifted up, a standard, a signal pole or a sign.  This verse also says he has given us a banner to be displayed because of Truth. I think that banner is Truth. Just like that Rod of God is Truth. Just like Jesus is the Truth.  Jesus said in   "If I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto me."  I am my Beloved's and He is mine. His banner over me is love. They will know we are Christians by our love. If we can lift up a life of sacrificial love, then the enemies will be defeated in the lives of those around us. Love is not some insipid emotion. Unrelenting, sacrificial love is the most powerful thing on earth.  One of my favorite descriptions of Jesus is " The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory full of grace and truth.  When people look at our lives what do they see written on the banner? I want mine to say, "Love because of Truth."

I am Legend - John 17:26

"I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them"

There is a movie called I Am Legend with Will Smith where he sacrifices himself to cure and save an infected world.  Though not one of my favorite movies (I'm not a zombie fan,) I love the title.  As I am getting older, words like legacy and legend hold my thoughts captive.  Webster defines legend as - a story coming down from the past; one popularly regarded as historical although not verifiable. Or as a person or thing that inspires legends. What will be the stories told of my life? Will there be any stories? What will I leave behind of significance. What will be my legacy? What will my life stand for? Another type of legend is on a map. It explains symbols and thus helps people find their way.  Will my life make it easier for someone to find Christ and find their way in life? David prays in Psalm 71:17-18 "O God, thou hast taught me from my youth: and hitherto have I declared thy marvelous works. Now also when I am old and gray headed, O God, forsake me not; until I have declared thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to everyone that is to come." I always got so caught up in the idea that David wanted to reach his generation that I never quite noticed the "and thy power to everyone that is to come," part. David was praying to be a legend.  In John 17 Jesus prays with all his disciples one last time and says,  "I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them" (vrs.26.) "That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me" (vrs.21.) Jesus desires to make us the stuff of legends -  that the world may believe.

Lord, May your words be fulfilled in my life and the lives of my children. May I truly be a Light like You that lights the hearts of men, a light that will shew the Way to a world that is lost - "that the world may believe that thou hast sent me."

The Shadow of His Wings - Psalm 57:1-3

Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me; my soul trusteth in Thee: yea, in the shadow of they wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast. I will cry unto God most High; unto God that performeth all things for me. He shall send from heaven, and save me from the reproach of him that would swallow me up. Selah. God shall send forth His mercy and His truth.

 At the end of the Lord of the Rings movie, The Return of the King, after Frodo and Sam have thrown the ring of power into the fiery lava of Mount Doom. They are stranded on a rock as molten flames flow around them, overcome with exhaustion and on the verge of death. Then from the heavens enormous eagles swoop down and carry them beneath their outstretched wings to safety.  What a beautiful picture this is of God's redeeming love.  Only a Rock saves them from being overcome by the burning lava flowing around them. How many times in my life have I been lying on that same Rock on the verge of collapse while the flames of fiery trials sought to overcome me. And every time God sent His mercy and His Truth to lift me above the situation. His Word would snatch me from the clutches of Mount Doom and take me to a place of rest in Him.

Tears to Triumph - Psalm 56: 8-9

Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?  When I cry unto thee then shall mine enemies turn back: This I know; for God is for me.

I have always loved this verse, because it reminds me how intimately concerned God is about my struggles. My very tears are stored in a bottle and each one written in His book. Yet in the midst of brokenness and weakness, God's strength is revealed. Through his tears David says with certitude, "When I cry unto Thee then my enemies will be turned back: THIS I KNOW; for God is for me. In Daniel it says that "those who know their God will be strong and do great exploits." When I first became a Christian, I was so hungry for the Word of God that I devoured it for hours upon hours. The Word says that, "He sent His Word and delivered them from all their destructions."  At  night when I was sleeping I was plagued by demonic attacks in my dreams.  I actually believe the spirits that were harassing me had come out of me as I devoured God's Word and were just hanging around trying to get back in. I later learned I could bind these evil spirits from my dreams.  In my sleep when these attacks would happen, I would try to wake myself up and would struggle to call out the name, "Je-s-u-s!" It was as if some force was trying to hold my vocal cords closed. But I would always struggle to consciousness and squeeze His name out. The enemies of my soul knew the moment I called on that Name, they would have to flee and they always did. I know all this talk of demons will seem wacko to some. I am not a snake handling fanatic, but a degreed professional (not that that means anything,) who has had a profound and life changing encounter with Christ.  Jesus confronted spiritual beings daily. And I learned as a babe in Christ a valuable lesson - the spiritual realm is very real. It is not a fantasy. And there is power in the name of Jesus.  I can say with David from experience, "When I cry unto thee then shall mine enemies turn back: This I know; for God is for me!"

Love You Forever - Psalm 53:2

God looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, that did seek God.

Did you ever wish that there was someone that truely understood you and loved you with all their being? There is a longing ingrained in the human heart that desires such communion. What amazes me is that there is that same longing in the heart of God.   I was once trying to describe finding Christ to a woman on an airplance. I told her it was like falling in love. With a dreamy sound in her voice she said, "I've never heard it described that way." His Holy Spirit is continually wooing us into that relationship. Unfortunately other lovers are also courting our time and affections and often their temptations and babbles distract us from the only One who truely loves us with a perfect Love.   In the New Living Translation of Ephesians 3:17-19 Paul prays, "Then Christ will make His home in your heart as you trust in Him.  Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.  Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God." My Dad closes his notes to me with the phrase, "Love you forever, Dad." Because of the relationship we share, when I read those words I am filled with warmth, security and love because I know it is true. When we have an intimate relationship with God, His Words written to us in the Bible will evoke that same response.

Lord,
When you look to see if there are any who understand, who seek God, may you find me. I long to know You more.
Love You forever,
Your daughter.

Create In Me - Psalm 51:10-12

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence; and take not they Holy Spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of my salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

"Create in me a clean heart."
"for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." 2 Cor. 10:7
"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." Proverbs 4:23
Renew a right spirit within me.
The Hebrew word for right in this verse is "kuwn" which is translated "right" 5 times in the Bible, but more often (143 times) it is translated prepared or established.
Our spirit is not to be tossed by the winds of circumstance or emotion, but established and prepared by the Spirit of God. Renew a steadfast spirit in me.
"Cast me not away from your presence: and take not your Holy Spirit from me."
I am not so sure that God casts us away as much as He casts our sin from His presence. "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us." However, we throw ourselves over a precipice, when we grapple to hold onto our sin while His ourstetched hand is calling to rescue us from hell and the grave.  We've all seen movies where a character perishes clutching onto some ill gotten treasure, while the main character is calling out to him, "Grab my hand!"
"Restore unto me the joy of my salvation"
In 1 Peter this joy is described as "joy unspeakable full of glory." Last night I watched a movie where 2 injured soldiers were stranded in the wilderness of Afghanistan surrounded by enemies and waiting for certain death when against all odds they are found and rescued by chopper. Tears of joy ran down their dirt caked faces as they embraced each other in relief and euphoric laughter.  This is a taste of the joy of salvation.
Uphold me with your free Spirit.
The word free here means willing, noble, princely.
"And, behold, there came a leper and worshipped him, saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean. And Jesus put forth his hand, and touched him, saying, I will: be thou clean. And immediately his leprosy left him."
This is the willing spirit that upholds us.

What Manner of Spirit - Luke 9:52-56

"...and they went and entered into the village of the Samaritans, to make ready for him.  And they did not receive him, because his face was as though he would go to Jerusalem.  And when his disciples James and John saw this, they said Lord, wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did?  But he turned, and rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of. For the Son of man is not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them."

On the surface, the words of these disciples might seem justified. They are even using scripture to back them up.  After all, these Samaritans rejected Christ. They "did not receive Him." Sometimes it is not the words or the actions we use that are inherently wrong, but the spirit behind them.  When Jesus spoke these words "he (had) steadfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem". That was the Spirit behind his words. Jesus said the words that I speak they are spirit  -and they are life.  Most words we speak are spirit of some manner, but not all are life. "  God says the power of life and death is in the tongue. We've all heard the phrase "it's not what you said but how you said it."  What really is the spirit behind our words? Is it judgment, self righteousness or anger? Or is it compassion, mercy, and love?

"Lord may my face be set toward Your cross and may this be the Spirit behind my words."

The Hidden Parts - Psalm 51:6

Behold, thou desireth truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom...

Can we be honest with God and honest with ourselves?  Nothing is hidden from God, but He desires for us to totally truthful in our responses to Him and others. The word used for hidden in this verse is the Hebrew word "catham" which means to stop up, to shut up, keep close, secret. It is used in other verses describing wells that were stopped up by enemies.  There are secret areas or wells in our life that the Lord wants to open. When we lay aside all self defense and self-justification and humbly allow the Holy Spirit to search us, He will make us to know wisdom in those areas we have hidden even from ourselves. He will open the channels that have been blocked or "stopped up" so His Spirit can flow freely through us and flow to others.

Unfathomable Love - Psalm 47:4

He shall choose our inheritance for us, the excellency of Jacob whom he loved. Selah.

 "I lift my life to You and say, 'Father, You choose. You choose where I live. You choose who I marry or who my friends are. You choose what I do  and what I become. You know what is best and I trust in You. My hope is in You, Lord, the One who loved me when I was yet in my sin, the one who ransomed me with His own blood; the One who knew me in my mother's womb.   As You chose Jacob a deceiver and changed him into Israel, a prince with God; so You have chosen me. How can this be? I choose You, Lord, because your unfathomable Love chose me."

Follow the River - Psalm 45:1-5

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried away into the midst of the sea;
Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, The holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God will help her, and that right early.

Often I will see someone wearing a tee shirt that reads, "No Fear." But seldom do I encounter someone actually living those words. Fear comes in many forms - fear of man, fear of failure, fear of death, fear of the future or fear of some tragedy. But there is one thing I know with certitude. When calamity comes (and it will come,) "I will fear no evil..."  Why? - because "Thou art with me." I may be shaken, but I shall not be moved. God is my refuge and my strength, a very present help in trouble. He is the great I AM.  He speaks to my heart, "I AM your courage in the midst of discouragement. I AM your hope when all seems lost.  I AM your unfailing love when all others fail. I AM a very present help right now wherever you are.  Look within. There is a river flowing from my Throne and I AM there. Follow the river."